Etiquette on a Budget

• Quiet elegance is always in style.
• Consider a few white lilies for the bridal bouquet instead of an elaborate arrangement.
• A garden luncheon can be as charming as a 5 course sit down dinner.
• Select fewer attendants.  The larger the wedding and number of attendants, the greater the expense.
• But no matter how limited the budget, the rules of etiquette still apply.
• Having a reception which serves only punch and cake is acceptable.  Asking guests to buy their own dinners is not.
• Having an alcohol free reception is fine.  Have a cash bar is not.
• Registering for things the couple would like and need is fine.  Asking for money instead of gifts is not.
• Sending email invitations instead of printed or handwritten ones for a small intimate wedding isn’t OK.
• Neglecting to send thank you notes within an acceptable time frame is not appropriate.

 

Every part of a wedding, even one done on a very limited budget, should be done with style and good taste.  An affordable wedding can be just as memorable as a lavish one.  Guests will remember the beautiful personal touches, not how much was spent on the wedding.

 

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Be A Good Guest

An invitation is coming your way from a family member or a good friend or both.  It is an honor to be selected to help those close to you celebrate a wonderful part of their life.

If you RSVP with a positive response, you become an official guest at this party.  You will no doubt bring an appropriate wedding gift, but did you know that another gift you could give the couple is the knowledge of how to be a good guest, and the wisdom to use that knowledge.

Here is a checklist of do’s and don’t that can follow to insure that your behavior will not cause the couple to grimace on their 10^th wedding anniversary as they recall events from their wedding.

DO

• Make sure to send your RSVP in a timely manner.
• Arrive at the wedding at least 15-20 minutes before the ceremony is to begin.
• Stay standing at the back of the church if you are going to be late.
• Keep your cell phone on silent.
• Dress appropriately.
• Have fun dancing but do not call attention to yourself or your partner.
• Respect the couple’s wishes even if they aren’t what you would choose.

 

DON’T

• Change your mind about attending.  Don’t cancel and then show up anyway.
• Sit in a front row.  That is for immediate family only.
• Text, tweet or blog during the ceremony.
• Wear jeans or sweats unless requested by the couple.
• Get in the way of the professional photographer doing his job.
• Take ceremony or reception photos unless the couple approve.
• Trash talk the couple’s choices.

 

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Music to Celebrate

Selecting the music for a wedding ceremony and reception is an important consideration.  Music should frame the ceremony – not dominate it.  Picking the music should be an important aspect of the planning process.

Make an early meeting with the officiator a must.  Churches tend to have constraints imposed on the kind of music allowed.  It is good to have that information early in the planning process.  Some churches limit the options by presenting the bride a list of music from which she must choose.  Others may opt to screen her choices.

If the bride wants a certain music that is important to her and/or the groom, and the church can’t /won’t play it, she has the option of diplomatically asking if she can bring in her own musicians.  More and more brides are requesting instruments instead of the “old” organ.  Some brides want to be lead up or down the aisle by bagpipes.  Others prefer the sounds of a string quartet.  Allowing sufficient lead time to clarify any issues around music is a smart move.

Brides must remember that music needs to be selected for the prelude, the processional, the ceremony and for the reception.  Musicians need to be chosen and booked early in the process.

Many budget conscious brides are opting to use MP3 players or other electronic media for their cocktail hour or as background music during dinner.

The bride should spend time researching her music.  Screen pieces, listen to CD’s and take advice from musicians you know.   Audition any musicians before hiring them.  Check references.  Volumes of advice and suggestions are available online.  Think about your personal preferences and music that matters to you both as a couple as you assemble your “must play list”.

Many couples are creating a CD of their favorite music and making it available as a thank you gift to their guests.

For other ideas about the role of music in your wedding, please feel free to contact us for assistance.

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