A Few Dont’s

As society changes, so do the social amenities that prevailed.  But class is class and something we see done in the name of the “princess bride’s wishes” remain in poor taste.

A bridal store reported having a bride ask how to let her guests know that she wanted all of them to dress in black or white or a combination of both.  Her wedding theme was that of a black and white ball and she didn’t want it ruined by someone in a blue suit or a colorful print dress.  The store gave her good advice – “You can’t.”  One doesn’t tell people what to wear anymore than one would tell a hostess what kind of food to serve.  The bride can control the dress of the wedding party, but that is all.  Shad heard the phrase, “It’s the bride’s day”, but had to learn that it didn’t mean everyone must bow to her wishes.  Friends can spread the word but no demands must be made.

Another store reported dealing with a bride who wanted 250 guests to attend her wedding but she planned to walk away from the ceremony and to save money, meet 45 of her favorite guests for a sit down dinner at a restaurant.  The advice to her was Don’t Do It!  She was advised that it would be far better to serve light refreshments to all guests following the ceremony.  This would give everyone a chance to extend their best wishes to the couple and socialize with others in attendance.  If she wished to celebrate with a special group of friends, she should do it after the official reception.  The guiding principle here is that a couple should never do anything to show preferences to one guest over another.

The same advice holds for brides who insist on adding corner copy to their wedding invitation that reads: Cash Gifts Preferred.  Granted, more and more couples would prefer cash as a help for a down payment on a house for instance, but that does not mean that it is ok to include on the invitation to the ceremony.  That kind of news needs to be spread by word of mouth by the bride’s family or friends, or may be included in the website if one has been created.  This kind of request is known in some circles as doing a “Kardashian”.

Let us help you solve puzzles and questions as they arise in the course of your planning needs.

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Dress Hunting

For many brides the most exciting part of being engaged is the process of finding “the perfect dress.”  At one time it was a process shrouded in mystery.  Now thanks to many TV shows devoted to gown selection, brides have some ideas about how to go about this wonderful experience.  Some principles have stood brides in good stead for decades.  Here are some areas for today’s brides to consider before they begin to look for that gown.

Many brides have a good sense of their own fashion preferences.  They know what looks good on them.  Think about what you wear and why it looks good.  What are your fashion preferences?  Are tailored, frilly, feminine, or casual?  Do you want a gown that reflects those looks or is your wedding gown going to be a complete departure?  Think about the “look” you want for your wedding.  Look at magazines, check out websites and make notes of the styles that catch your eye.  When you go into a wedding salon, one of the questions you will be asked is “Do you have any styles in mind?”  The wedding consultant who will be assisting you in your selection process will prefer to start with gowns that reflect your personal tastes.

Be honest with yourself about your body shape.  If you are tall, you’re lucky.  Lots of gowns are made for tall brides.  If you are short, you’re lucky.  Many designers see the petite bride as their specialty.  If you are heavier in the bust, or in the hips, or thighs or shoulders – be honest with yourself and let the wedding consultant work with you to find the perfect dress to accent or camouflage certain areas.

Think about color:  Gowns are shown in bridal white, soft creamy ivory, silver, gold and all shades in between.  What are your most flattering shades?

When you go into a store to try on gowns, go prepared.  Wear good underwear – especially a bra and any foundation garment you think you may wish to wear under your gown.  If something special is needed for the gown you ultimately choose, your wedding consultant can help with that.  You should wear a shoe with the approximate heel height you’ll wear for the ceremony.

Don’t focus on your dress size.  I watched a TV show in which the bride refused to consider a dress that looked fabulous on her because it wasn’t a size 2.  She stated that she only wore a size 2.  Well forget about the number.  Every designer has his/her version of sizing.  That’s why you are working with a wedding consultant.  She knows her merchandise, the designers she has selected for her store and she will find you the perfect dress with the perfect fit.  Don’t worry about the size and don’t order a smaller dress “planning to fit into it.”  Be guided by the consultant.

Give yourself plenty of time to order the gown, be prepared to make a deposit on your order and think carefully before taking a group with you.  One person whose taste you respect is truly enough – two tops!  It is a special time for you to pick out the gown that means the most to you – not to cousins, godmothers and sorority friends you’ve gathered to participate in this event.

We’ve had years of experience in helping brides find the dress of their dreams.  Contact Accent on Events to assist you.

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