Etiquette on a Budget

• Quiet elegance is always in style.
• Consider a few white lilies for the bridal bouquet instead of an elaborate arrangement.
• A garden luncheon can be as charming as a 5 course sit down dinner.
• Select fewer attendants.  The larger the wedding and number of attendants, the greater the expense.
• But no matter how limited the budget, the rules of etiquette still apply.
• Having a reception which serves only punch and cake is acceptable.  Asking guests to buy their own dinners is not.
• Having an alcohol free reception is fine.  Have a cash bar is not.
• Registering for things the couple would like and need is fine.  Asking for money instead of gifts is not.
• Sending email invitations instead of printed or handwritten ones for a small intimate wedding isn’t OK.
• Neglecting to send thank you notes within an acceptable time frame is not appropriate.

 

Every part of a wedding, even one done on a very limited budget, should be done with style and good taste.  An affordable wedding can be just as memorable as a lavish one.  Guests will remember the beautiful personal touches, not how much was spent on the wedding.

 

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A Few Dont’s

As society changes, so do the social amenities that prevailed.  But class is class and something we see done in the name of the “princess bride’s wishes” remain in poor taste.

A bridal store reported having a bride ask how to let her guests know that she wanted all of them to dress in black or white or a combination of both.  Her wedding theme was that of a black and white ball and she didn’t want it ruined by someone in a blue suit or a colorful print dress.  The store gave her good advice – “You can’t.”  One doesn’t tell people what to wear anymore than one would tell a hostess what kind of food to serve.  The bride can control the dress of the wedding party, but that is all.  Shad heard the phrase, “It’s the bride’s day”, but had to learn that it didn’t mean everyone must bow to her wishes.  Friends can spread the word but no demands must be made.

Another store reported dealing with a bride who wanted 250 guests to attend her wedding but she planned to walk away from the ceremony and to save money, meet 45 of her favorite guests for a sit down dinner at a restaurant.  The advice to her was Don’t Do It!  She was advised that it would be far better to serve light refreshments to all guests following the ceremony.  This would give everyone a chance to extend their best wishes to the couple and socialize with others in attendance.  If she wished to celebrate with a special group of friends, she should do it after the official reception.  The guiding principle here is that a couple should never do anything to show preferences to one guest over another.

The same advice holds for brides who insist on adding corner copy to their wedding invitation that reads: Cash Gifts Preferred.  Granted, more and more couples would prefer cash as a help for a down payment on a house for instance, but that does not mean that it is ok to include on the invitation to the ceremony.  That kind of news needs to be spread by word of mouth by the bride’s family or friends, or may be included in the website if one has been created.  This kind of request is known in some circles as doing a “Kardashian”.

Let us help you solve puzzles and questions as they arise in the course of your planning needs.

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Sharing the News

Inviting friends and family members to share your happiness or your pending marriage is a wonderful and exciting part of being engaged.  And one of the most important decisions you’ll make is the selection of all parts of your paper trousseau.  We are your best source for ideas, information and advice on these key decisions.

You should plan to order all of the items you’ll need at one time to insure that all pieces coordinate.  We will help you develop the list of various paper items you will need as you begin the search for the perfect wedding papers.

If you are planning to invite several out of town guests or if your wedding planned for a holiday weekend, it is very wise to send Save the Date cards.  These are usually sent out four – six months prior to the wedding date.  But a word of caution:  Be sure that those guests who receive a Save the Date card remain on your invitation list.  That means that you must have the number of guests planned for the wedding and reception firmly in mind when you place the invitation order.

Because invitations offer guests a preview of the formality and tone of the wedding, a great deal of thought should go into their selection.  Formal wording should be used for formal weddings.  Individuality can be expressed by choosing unique sizes, textures, colors, overlays and/or ribbon trims.

Unless the wedding is an extremely small and intimate affair, a reply card with a self-stamped, pre-addressed envelope is usually enclosed with the invitation.

Programs, while operational, are very nice to have for guests as they describe the ceremony and the identity of the participants.

Thank you notes should be ordered at this time as well.  There are several options for incorporating the names of the couple on these notes.

Plan to send your invitations six – twelve weeks before the event.

We would be delighted to assist you with advice and guidance in all your paper trousseau selections.

*Photo credit of Tiny Prints

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Setting the Date

He asked and you said “yes”.  Congratulations to you both.  Your engagement signals the beginning of a wonderful and exciting time in your lives.  Where to start?  Setting the date!

As you consider various dates, times and places for your wedding, here are some points to think about.

Think about your budget.  It is true that some months are more expensive than others.  (Think about the Law of Supply and Demand you learned in Econ 101).  In popular months (usually May through September) some reception locations, photographers, florists, and bands may charge more for their services.  If you can wait for a less crowded month, you may be able to stage the same wedding for less money.

Think about the season.  If you have been dreaming of a Christmas wedding your whole life, then go for it.  But think about the time needed for preparations and plan accordingly.  If you want a certain church, certain reception site and a certain gown and flowers, you may have to adjust time frames.  Your answer is to book early and be prepared to be flexible on dates and/or times.

If you are on a fast track at work or have a job that requires huge blocks of your time, be sure to engage the services of a professional wedding consultant.  He/she will end up saving you both time and sanity (and maybe even money).

Consider scheduling your wedding around a holiday.  That can give you both a theme for your wedding and time for your out of town guests to attend.

If your plans include a destination wedding, you will need to be more flexible in your dates and times.  Decide which is most important – the date of the wedding or the place of the wedding.   Once that decision is made, you can proceed.

We are used to working with schedules and helping busy brides create a schedule for your event and follow through with all the details necessary to create a day to remember for you and your guests.

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